In the almost 4 years that I have been blogging, I think the most difficult thing is to let myself be myself in my blog. I can’t quite figure out why it is so difficult, and I have tried to let myself loose a few times. Every time I try to bring more of myself to my blog, I get anxious and quit trying immediately.
In my investigation into my withdrawal, I can only assume I am worried about the people reading my blog who actually know me in real life. Or, it can easily be traced to my own mental health issues and low self-esteem (although I try to seem like an opposite person on Instagram).
I believe most bloggers must feel this at one time or another – especially if they struggle with mental health issues. To be quite honest, the few blog posts I have written about mental health, I haven’t shared on social media because I was too afraid of people I know in the real world reading them.
This also circles back to how I didn’t even tell people I ran this blog for almost two years. I know this post sounds like I am a very secretive person, but I really am not at all. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I talk more than I should.
But, I have never shown that version of myself in my blog – nor do I share that version of myself with very many people. I learned very early on that is how you alienate yourself. My life is a result of trial and error (but then again, isn’t everybody’s?).
It always easier to think of me as the girl who says what she thinks, never afraid to say anything to anybody (and maybe drinks a little too much). Taylor who is loud, angry and obsessed.
Typical Scorpio, if you are into astrology.
However, if you read my blog, I seem like a monotone voice showing you how to buy a couch or put together a succulent planter. A post perfect for a re-pin on Pinterest.
And I don’t want to stop all of that. I am a creative person, and I am a secret homemaker deep inside. For those of you who read my blog on the regular, I just want to seem more like a person.
So, the whole point of this little monologue, I want to start doing a series called Sunday Aesthetic. To quote an amazing Dreamworks picture, I am an onion with many layers – and I hope you all enjoy getting to know actual me. Plus, I hope to get to know all of you in the process – please comment on these posts, let’s engage.
Sunday Aesthetic will basically be a weekly summary of what is getting me through the week. It won’t always be fun, and it won’t always be glamorous.
It will be a little weekly dose of honesty with a hint of lifestyle tips.
So after that super long explanation, welcome to Repressing the Crazy’s first ever Sunday Aesthetic!
WORK WEEK
I was out of work for two days this week because I was sick, but even when I came back, everything was slow. Then, I had very little motivation to do anything productive because I was so out of it, but I am ready to take on this week.
I hate not having motivation while at work; it makes the day so much longer. I am hoping since I am finally back in a normal schedule that I can dive in head first with creativity.
News is such an exhausting career path.
Another goal I have set for myself is to start taking more care of my appearance throughout the week. I have gotten into a slump where I hate everything in my closet, and I just would rather sleep than wake up and put on makeup.
I need to start doing it for myself. Over the years, I have noticed that the less effort I put into my appearance, the less confident I feel. So, I have made a promise to myself to get dressed up every single day this week.
I will let you know how it goes next Sunday.
Also, on my time off, I read “How to Set a Fire” by Lisa Lutz. It is one of my summer reading list reads. I absolutely loved it. It is perfect for a day on the beach!
RESCUING A DOG, ENGAGEMENT PARTIES AND SHAKEY GRAVES
My weekend was a little more eventful than normal.
On Friday, I was able to see Shakey Graves in concert for free. The City of Waco holds a free concert series every summer, and I was over the moon when I saw he was performing.
It was a chill event where you brought your own wine and a picnic blanket and enjoyed some good music!
My plan for Saturday was to go see the new Incredibles movie before helping my sister set up for my friend’s engagement party. Oh, did I mention I am a bridesmaid? I will be posting more wedding content, so get ready for that!
I was in the shower when my sister ran into the bathroom screaming and crying about a dog. Thinking something happened to one of my own, I threw on whatever clothing was in the floor and ran outside soaking wet.
Although it wasn’t my dogs, a stray miniature pinscher was hopping down the road with his leg almost completely detached.
After calling animal control, shelters and police, I realized I wasn’t going to get any official help until Monday. The poor guy would not let me pick him up, so I called an officer to help me get him into my backyard until animal control could come on Monday.
This wasn’t the ideal situation because although he didn’t have an open wound, he was in a lot of pain. I couldn’t pick him up, and I also could not afford a vet bill.
After posting on Facebook, the community rushed to help. An animal advocate was able to help me get the dog into her car, and she took her to the animal hospital.
It turned out that the poor puppy was neglected and shot (probably by a BB gun), and he had to get a cast. We are still trying to find his original owners.
After that whole incident, my sister and I rushed to put together my friend’s engagement party – and it was absolutely lovely! Look out for a blog post on that because really, what is an engagement party? (We will answer that and more this week).
We ended our weekend on Sunday by going to a cute brunch spot in downtown Waco and watching the entire 2nd season of Queer Eye.
Cheers to another week of growing – Tell me your top three things that happened over the weekend in the comments!
